4 easy steps to induce people into thinking you’re a normal human being

Hey folks,

It’s been a while since I posted something this ‘serious’ (remember the 10 obvious signs you have the Cyrus syndrome ?) but a friend of mine told me recently that he was surprised when he got to know me because I looked normal until we talked more than 20 minutes, all my randomness cut him off guards. So let’s say this clearly: we are weird people living in a weird planet. No exceptions, it’s just on different levels and layers. We all have our problems, our struggles, our mental disorders, our flaws, our awkwardness, our fears… and yet, we live in a society where being weird (which is basically everyone’s case) is labelled as ‘weird’. I have a problem with the term ‘normal’ and ‘weird’, what’s normal ? and who gets to set the standard ? What’s weird when we look at our crazy universe ? People die, people kill, people yell, people break things, people drink too much, people smoke too much, people cry, people have babies, people do drugs, people have complexes, people hit other people, people bully each other, people go to war, people live in misery, people hate on people, people snap, people hold grudges, people lose their memory, people get sick, people make others feel sick, people are rude… and yet, we call the average human being, a ‘normal’ person. The normal person has problems, social and mental disorders to deal with, she just doesn’t show it. So when people say normal, i hear “someone who’s actually quite messed up and crazy as fuck who might actually kill your entire family and make a carpet out of your chest hair without feeling guilty but who has a skill that consists in being a hypocrite in all circumstances, not shocking anyone and being exactly what the society, people, religion and government wants him to be”. And then you talk about potatoes three times in a serious conversation and people label you as crazy until the rest of your life.

Hassan Hajjaj photography

When it comes to me, I have no problem stating that I’m a weird ass person. I’m basically a freak. I once wished a teacher ‘happy new year’ instead of ‘have a good day’. Whenever I make eye contact, I smile awkwardly. I laugh in situations where laughing is just plain odd. I like jumping from topic to topic and reaching high levels of whatthefuckness. But, even with all this history of weirdness, I still manage to look quite normal most of the time. I don’t care if people think or know that I’m weird, but I wanted to write this article to answer the question. Here’s how you can look normal, while being a complete freak.

1) I state that I’m weird and awkward beforehand so that people prepare accordingly. There’s a study in psychology that says that crazy people don’t know they’re crazy, they live in denial ; so if they say ‘I’m crazy’, they’re immediately taken for normal people with no disorder whatsoever. So that’s my first tip, if you’re a freak, just saying it to people will make you look less freaky and more of a normal human being with some freaky behaviours. It’s not like lying or anything, but preparing people to your weirdness.

2) I agree on sharing the regular social life of my friends. By regular social life, I mean that I accept invitations to parties, hang outs, coffee, drinks and all that. I’m not always looking forward to meeting the same old faces in the same old couches and doing the same old things, but I agree anyways because I still have a good time. One can always have a good time, no matter the circumstances. But what I really wish I could have is water paint fights, triple dog dare nights, group meditation, group excursions, treks… I wish we could go visit a new place we never visited before in the old city, donate blood or volunteer somewhere. Or maybe just go walking and randomly start dancing in the streets. Bake together, have a common art project where everyone is involved… That’s the kind of activities I wish I could have besides having coffees and all that. I’m lucky to have amazing friends, and each time, I get to experience something new, so I don’t complain that much. Which brings us to our next point.

3) I talk to all kinds of people so that my opinions don’t get stuck with just one mind, my opinions meet different minds. If I talked to one person all the time, I’m sure their mind or mine will pop sooner or later, I need horizon, new minds to tackle, new opinions to hear. Why ? Well, because I love hearing new stories. People fascinate me, they have their education, their social upbringing, their knowledge, their wisdom, their stupidity, their lies, their truths, their behaviours… And if we just take the time to listen to each other and open up without any kind of judgements or material benefits, we start sharing our stories and learning from each other. To me, that’s the level one of humanity: just loving each other for the sake of the experience. Furthermore, I actually hate boredom, and I wouldn’t say that talking to the same people is boring, but some of my friends are just the same shit, they don’t have a slight dose of change and keep on having the same discussions, just in different tones and situations: and thus totally ignoring about their repetitiveness. So instead of being that one friend who’s always bringing up weird topics in weird situations (in their opinion, in mine I’m just talking about ‘other’ things), or that weird friend who says she’s bored talking about that one topic all the time… I decided to prevent that. People are so much more than flesh and blood, they have stories to tell, emotions to share and feelings to give. I seek that more than anything else in my relationships, having a connection, a mental and spiritual connection with people. Friends or not, I talk and learn from everyone.

4) Talk about things that have nothing to do with the main topic. I actually don’t know why i had to have a pause, to remind you how lovely you are today. 99 per cent of the readers will never get this far to read how much i wish them a happy day. And then they ask why their days end up being crappier than a dog’s ass…

5) Create a blog and talk about weird stuff in it. The fact is that weird stuff, when written, sounds less weird and more poetic. It sounds like a writer’s lyrical fantasy world. If I tell some random person the exact same things I wrote on my blog, journals and essays, I’m sure they’ll cross me off the sane people list forever. That’s why I write in the first place, because writing makes things that much easier, writing allows my brain to simply put my thoughts into words, without modifying them so that it pleases the person I’m talking to because we write for ourselves and for the universe at the same time, we don’t talk to someone in specific. When we orally speak, there’s the fear of looking weird, the fear of being judged or not being understood, the fear of letting out too much information, the fear of having that same information used against us someday… there’s just a shit loads of fear and anxiety going on, so we’re rarely spontaneous and completely ourselves. I see myself as a very spontaneous and direct person, but even me, who talks a damn lot and has no problem with people thinking and seeing I’m a mess, I still feel like there’s some inhibitions. So I write it off.

To sum up, this brief post was just another awkward move from my brain. I was bored, and I thought “hey, let’s answer J”. So here goes your answer big boy, that’s why you didn’t quite see my weirdness at first. It’s not like I do these things on purpose to ‘look normal’, not at all, I don’t even think about it. But I do them, and somehow, you have to all deal with it.

Best vibes,



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